Dear Readers,

I want to thank you for all you’ve been through with me. Your support, your comments, your anonymous stalker-ish online presences, they have all meant so much to me.

As I continue to grow up, and evolve as an artist, I have to change my blog in order to keep up with me. While I have worked hard in the past to cultivate a clean image and keep my blog an uplifting, inspiring, and most-audiences approved space on the internet, I find that self-editing has, at times, become artistically stifling.

I also feel that my intention to inspire and help women is more valid than ever, and I believe that by not censoring my struggles so much I can be the willing voice/figurehead for a lot of issues that many women feel keenly but are afraid to voice. There will still be much of the same on the blog, but there will also be a bit more of the other side, the struggle. I never want others to be turned off by what I chuckle at as “my preachiness”, and showing that I am not always on the peachy soap-boxy side of life will be a way to defray my own (occasionally off-putting) enthusiasm.

You may notice that there are two new pages above; Plays and Poems. These contain, not surprisingly, bits of work that I have written in their respective categories. If you liked my blog the way it was, I suggest caution in traveling to these new pages. Here, the self-editing is gone. While I have done my best to mark which poems contain profanity I must admit that it will be difficult to put up any other sort of content markers regarding to theme. If you don’t want to see it–don’t click. When it comes to my plays, just assume that there will probably be profanity at some point. [Note: I've only included excerpts of plays in order to combat intellectual thievery. If you would like to read the whole thing then email me]. I will add more tabs as I see fit, but I am transitioning to make my blog more of a personal site rather than just a blog. As such, it will include my efforts into all areas of the arts.

As another effort to making my blog more of a personal webpage, I now have a new domain. This site is now emilieestherann.com and if you would like to email me, you may contact emilie@emilieestherann.com. The old address will automatically redirect you to the new address, but if you’ve got me bookmarked please do change the link.

My homepage/blog will still remain mostly user friendly, but don’t be surprised if the topics venture into an occasionally darker territory or let the swears slip. When it comes to my poems, don’t be alarmed that I am sinking into utter lifeless despair–my writing is cathartic in that what I pen out doesn’t stay in to fester.

I hope that you will enjoy the slightly different purpose of this page and stay with me, “angst and swears and all”, but if you need to make your farewell I will understand. I’ll miss you, but I’ll understand.

Sincerely,

Emilie

Here is the honest truth: I miss being in school.

I miss it so much.

It isn’t really the people (although they were great).

It isn’t the campus (I work there everyday).

It is the simple reality of being in a space devoted purely to educating the mind and freeing the intellect. The day to day dialectic. The responsibility to dissect every word read, every picture seen, everything experience for what lies beneath.

I miss lectures, I miss taking copious notes, I miss homework. Mostly, I miss the academic essay. When, other than being a student, can one walk from room to room and see others engaged in heated academic discussion?

Last night I began to write a paper comparing a novel to its film adaptation because I thirst so much for a literature class. Yes, you heard me, an honest-to-god citations-and-all paper. Anyway, how fair is it to train me up for the last sixteen years for academics to be my day to day reality and then just expect me to get over it once I graduate? Why, when I was so happy in the classroom, am I expected to be without school the rest of my life? This is a cruel world in which we live. Even continuing on to a higher degree is only a stop-measure on the inevitability of life apart from being actively engaged in the classroom. Unless….

I have gone back and forth over the years pondering the possibility of teaching. I have long since decided that I could not teach at a level lower than college. Over the past six months not being in a classroom setting I have come to realize just how much I love it. I have always loved helping teach concepts to others and I think I could be an excellent professor with training. You know me, my plans are always changing. But for now my dreams are to get an MFA in Playwriting and then continue on in my education and eventually teach playwriting/theatre while continuing my music, writing, acting, and directing. An academic setting would be the perfect place for me to continue pursuing all that I love to do while also imparting my passion for knowledge on others. I love nothing more than using my skills to help others to pursue their potential.

I don’t know when I will continue on this journey, but the more I seriously consider it the more I desire it.

__________________________________________________________________

I have also had some other dramatic life changes recently. For instance, I have now joined the rest of the world in wearing a contact in each eye. I have taken pleasure in in the past confusing people by announcing that I have my contact (singular) in, but those days are no more. I now have contacts for both eyes and am astounded that I can see clearly. Up close, far away, none of it is blurry! I also have a terrible astigmatism in my right eye and a more mild one in my left. One box for each eye of the astigmatism contacts were more than I used to pay for four boxes of my old prescription. Phah.

I also ordered new glasses from Coastal.com and cannot wait for them to reach me. (Super bargain–there is a “first pair free” deal on this site. I entered my new prescription, found the glasses and got to virtually try them on, and then only paid $52 because I wanted to upgrade to a different lens with multiple coatings. It was free shipping over $50, and my designer glasses ended up costing me about the same as a box of contacts. When I have to order new contacts it will definitely be online).

Look:

I also recently purchased a Verilux HappyLight (R) and after two hours of exposure I cannot begin to describe how much more energized and amazing I feel.

Ever since writing an A+ paper on Seasonal Affective Disorder in my Psych class I have wondered casually about the symptoms. I do become much more lethargic, cravy, and a little depressed during the winter. Rather than go through the bother of getting a doctor’s appointment (who does that?) I took some online quizzes* that I am sure are highly reliable and decided that I ought to go and buy one. Being the bargain shopper I found the desktop model I wanted for $31 on Overstock.com and I cannot begin to tell you how much I love this purchase.

*sidenote= I am too smart for most online quizzes. I too often can choose my results because I am good at ferreting out the meanings of the answers. I think that this is similar to my inborn talent (and delight) for standardized tests. I am seriously a standardized test goddess. Perhaps it is also related to my love for other things that most people hate: for the Dentist’s office, huffing rubber  cement, and pouring stinging antiseptics into my own open wounds?

After one hour of sitting in front of the happy lamp I felt happy, got up and exercised, made my mom her cookies, tidied, and smiled a lot. I am convinced that I was correct in my need for this purchase.

Since I have to go to bed in an hour in order to be able to get up for work in the morning I shall leave you now, happier than I’ve been all month, and hoping that you are happy too. I can see!

Sincerely,

Emilie

The week and two days off from work I had over Christmas break were brilliant–I ate a lot, accomplished next to nothing, and moved very little. I needed that. I needed to retreat into myself and become slothful, and hibernate. Now, like a bear, I am crawling out of that cave and will use the stored up fat (or rest, in this analogy…and, to be honest, also fat…) to power my way through the rest of the year ready to take on challenges and become the most ferocious me I can be.

Or best.

Don’t mind my terrible and loopy metaphoric babble–I’m in a bit of an exercise high so I cannot be held accountable for what I am saying. Er, typing.

I meant it when I said I intended to slim down some more this year, and so far day one has gone very well. (Today was day one, because it was the first day back at work). Now I only have 361 to go! (Because I like a dramatic finish). I was under my calorie limit, I had a solid workout, and I wrote it all down.

On a completely unrelated sidenote, I was looking at teeth whitening strips today at Target (I’m dabbling) and was quite tickled to make a wonderful discovery. The Crest 3Dwhite product line is on sale (I already use the toothpaste, and, so it matches, the toothbrush) but I had not ventured into the whitening strips. A box of 7 tops and bottoms (one week) is on sale right now for $44.

Wow.

But the toothbrushes are on sale for right now for $2.99, and with select brushes come a one day set of whitening strips in order to entice you to purchase the box. Are you seeing what I am seeing?

Simply buy 7 toothbrushes for half the price of a box of whitening strips, and get your teeth pearly along with a bonus of 7 amazing toothbrushes! I think I might just go back and do that…

And now, without a single attempt at graceful segue, I will discuss another matter that is dear to my heart: the lack of a single snowflake falling this winter where I live.

I am quite put out.

I mean, the powerful wind and sideways rain on Christmas day was expected, but not even a frozen sparkle? Not once?

I still have hope, because I do remember a couple of years ago when we had that freak May snow at SMU.

Finally, I believe that I will be ready to move out within the next few months (probably when my car payment is finished) so I shall have to research. Any advice, suggestions, openings?

Sincerely,

(a resolved-to-get-to-bed-earlier)

Emilie