Changing changing, my life is all about change lately.
And it’s weird.
And I like it.
And it’s unsettling.
And I hate it.
Next year I will be commuting from Shelton for my final year of college.
I only have one year of undergrad left–and then it is on to the rest of my life.
I am changing as a person. Growing stronger, growing weaker, discarding that which is unhealthy.
I am growing as a musician, and although my journey seems to be strewn with obstructions (rocks in the road of life) I am slowly and meticulously working my way through them. Painfully. But meticulously.
I am changing and being challenged in my faith. I have not lost it by any means, but I am definitely separating the trappings of Evangelical Christianity from having a faith and belief in God.
I am coming to terms with the fact that I’ve got issues.
I am coming to terms with the fact that it is ok that I have issues, and that everybody else has them too!
My whole life I have tried to hide my flaws, put on my “performance face” and act as if everything is a-ok.
It is very frightening for me to drop that facade and acknowledge that things are pretty messed up but it is something that I need to do.
How can things change if I refuse to admit that something is wrong?
1–Learn how to clear out my sinuses by tipping my head forward and shooting salt water through my nose
2–Design a dress and make it
3–Stop agreeing to do things because I ought to, but do them because I want to. This isn’t me being selfish, this is me trying to keep myself mentally and physically healthy.