I don’t hate children, I swear…


I feel that the time has come to clear this up.

While at one point I may have seriously disliked most children, this is definitely no longer the case.

I am not immune to the allure of the young girl running around in a princess dress or matching Christmas outfit, or the young boy playing with his lunch box and telling me that, “tuning makes notes sound better.”

I find children adorable.

I also find that I like being able to visit children, notice their cuteness, and know that I am able to leave at any time. I will eventually want children (I think) but am so thankful that I am not like most of my [hs] graduating class, who already have children. I mean, I am sure it works for them, but that is just so not me right now. And won’t be me for a long, long time. I cannot even fathom being responsible for another human being at this point in my life. Also, I do not like dirty children.I will be kind to ugly but groomed children, but dirty children……

I think some of my bias against children began when I was teaching third grade Sunday school with Kimmi. I enjoyed the experience, but there were a couple of hellions in our class that made me despair of discipline for a while. Also, I was thrown into a couple of babysitting experiences early on in life with no training, and no past experience with younger children. I was so scared to death, I had no idea what to do, and just came away with the idea that I was horrible with children because I wasn’t prepared. I am actually quite good with children when I try, and they like me.

Babies on the other hand…I just don’t understand the typical woman’s obsession with babies. To me, they are just so uninteresting. They look like little aliens right after birth, and they do nothing but cry and pooh and eat for the first months. (Birthing and everything leading up on the other hand, I find to be completely intriguing.) I understand that they are human beings, and I would never want anything bad to happen to them, but until they at least start crawling around they don’t intrigue me. It’s like, they are just a drain on society until they demonstrate some initiative. I totally get that they are an investment for the future, and I am sure if one of them came from me I would love it, but as an outsider I am so unaffected. I feel horrible–friends rush up to me with their newborn baby pictures, everyone around me “oohs” and “ahhs” and I just kind of go, “Oh…that’s nice…”

Once they start talking though, that’s when I really like them.

Also, I love baby clothes and little kid clothes. Someday I’d like to design a line of children’s clothing; everything is miniature, like little dollies!

So before any of you come on over here and spear me for being the worst person ever, I will share with you all what brought this subject up. Today the Tritones had an encore performance of their dramatic Christmas readings at the Evergreen Christian School, for the first grade class as a favor to our voice teacher (and when would we ever turn down a chance to perform?) I was excited, but I was not prepared for how adorable all of the children would be. Their high-pitched little voices, their adorable lunch pails, their random outbursts in the middle of our performance–it was so much fun! On the way out a boy came up to us to inform us that we forgot the songs [when we were reading How The Grinch Stole Christmas] and he proceeded to sing some of “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch” and part of the Who song…but he knew the words. Also, our performance was underscored by cello, and on our way out a delightful young lad shouted, “Bye, cello!”.

See, I’m not a heartless child-hating hag, I promise!

Sincerely,

an honest

Emilie

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One thought on “I don’t hate children, I swear…

  1. I’m with you on the dirty child– I don’t want him anywhere near me. I think babies look weird too, I have to restrain myself from telling people ‘Oh my goodness, what a cute martian!’

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