I’m having issues again.
You know, uncertainties.
I know I’ve been saying that things will work out, that they always turn out for the best when I stop trying to force myself to some end result, and this remains the truth.
On the other hand, it is almost February already and I have no plans whatsoever.
And I’m scared.
No clue where or how to begin searching for a grown-up job, where to live, what to do.
But now I am starting to feel the pressure to have some sort of inkling. Everyone else seems to have a plan.
What do I know for certain?: I want to move out as soon as I can. I will be heading to the east coast within the next few years (as soon as I possibly can). I would rather go somewhere now than wait around, but with no funds, no perspective job, no connections, artsy majors, and no concrete goals I’ve no idea how to do this.
Also…those pesky Grad school thoughts are sneaking back in from time to time. Never certain, just hinting. And not even convenient enough to be on one subject.
I gave this up many years ago, but I am secretly wanting to study fashion design/construction again. I could probably just take some on and off classes to learn and polish what I need to know, but again the uncertainty nags. Also, the tuition.
I am still planning on writing; thinking of of screenwriting, playwriting, creative writing, journalism, copy-writing, whatever sort of writing I can get work in.
I still want to pursue voice-over and books-on-tape.
I still want to act and sing, and, even more, direct.
I know this doesn’t all have to be now, but I don’t know how to go about any of this–or how to pick which to go after now.
Basically I am a tumbling, lost jumble.
I need some help, folks.
I need a guiding light.
Dear Universe, I am now seeking:
1–A life-guru. Someone older, wiser, who can give me some perspective without judgement. Oh, and who can give me contacts/networking.
2–A resume-guru. Simply put, my work resume needs help.
3–A rabid fan/supporter. Looking for someone to think happy things for me, tell me I am going places, help me plan, and not just sit back saying, “Oh, she’s always been able to take care of herself, she’ll be ok.” It’s true, I have been, and I will be, but honestly right now I feel like everyone is rooting for me in general, but could care less how I get anywhere in life.
It would be great to find a plethora of these folks, or for them all to be the same person. I’m not particular.
I’m just lost.
Please help me find my path.
(At this moment I am sort of feeling “any dream will do” but I know that’s not true.)