Old Goals, New Things, Money Changing Hands

My mother recently found a few old booklets of mine that I had made in the third grade. The first is a list of goals for each decade of my life, complete with illustrations, and the second is a charming story about a princess, gypsies, war, and a prince. If you’re really lucky I will post the story and its illustrations on here sometime this week….

A few goals?

Age 20: College   check  Student teacher so NOT check

Age 30: Start a career and get married  I’m glad I get 8 more years to dawdle around before I have to start a career, no idea on the marriage thing. I was sensible even then and didn’t want to get married too young. Plus…have you seen the men around here? Wasn’t impressed even in the third grade.

Age 40: Get a grass skirt   No, seriously, this was the only goal I wrote down for 30. It’s going to happen, too, I can feel it.

Age 50: Be a missionary.   Well…I’ve got to admit I don’t see this happening. After that African lion movie….


This past week has had a hallmark: I made my first student loan payment. Or should I say payments? As my government loans are bafflingly being serviced by two different providers, and I have my alternative loan from Freshman year there are actually three payments I have to make each month. And they are all due on different days–I just paid them at once to get it over with. Just watching my money….slipping away…


I was driving home late at night in the cold, when a tiny rock dinged off my windshield. It sounded like a tiny bell being struck, but when I looked up there was a windshield-spanning crack to accompany the miniscule ding where the freaking frozen diamond-hard rock collided. At least I will now learn how auto-insurance claims work,.Yay…learning…*sarcasm*


My official SMU Admissions blog and twitter have gone live, so if you want more of me (but slightly more SMU focused) click HERE and HERE.

Rather than a PR blog/twitter, it will be a “personality” account. In other words, I will be blogging as myself but with the central theme being SMU. The twitter feed will also be SMU-centric, and hopefully eventually will be a means of answering questions for prospective students.

Both accounts are skeletal right now, they have to be branded, and we are going to wait until I am a few weeks in on the blog to really push it so that there is content to browse. That does not mean that you can’t go check it out! (You may notice that I really like my current wordpress theme…)

Eventually there will be a “social” page on the SMU website where all of the official blogs will be featured, and my twitter stream should be featured on the Admissions page eventually.


I’ve started writing poetry again. Not smirky, purposefully bad poetry, and not formal but free-form. Emilie poems.

Back in high school I wrote some poems that made my bible study cry.

In elementary school I won ribbons and prizes at a local poetry contest, and in middle school I won giant ribbons for my poems at the county fair. They’re more like lyrical writing than what others might think of as poems. They are very much like my plays–relying on auditory cues, making heavy use of onomatopoeia, and just as much about sensory data as printed.

I’d forgotten that before journaling, poems were my main means of communication with myself. No, they aren’t literary genius, but they are cleansing and I didn’t realize that I had missed them so much.

I’ve delved back into art again after a prolonged break–drawing, pastels, collages, decorations, piano, singing. I am ready to act again, I would love to direct again. I am ready to resume all performance and take vocal lessons. The only thing I have yet to do is play my flute, but I am now ready.

I got so burnt out mentally, emotionally, physically that I basically stopped all art after graduation other than writing. Slowly but surely, bit by bit, I’ve been resuming all of my love.   Because I put so much into my flute (and also because of how cruelly disappointed I now admit to myself I was at the lack of turnout at my senior recital) I needed a longer break than everything else. No more.


I love gifting. I love painstakingly picking something out for another person because I think that it would be perfect for them, spending my hard-earned paycheck on someone (or my time) because I care about them. Being actually able to really do so this year has been expensive and very rewarding.

These are the ways I serve people: gifting, mending, listening, hostessing, thank-you note writing, teaching, assisting…  I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have been called selfish by one half of my parents, but the thing is I am really not. Yes, I know what I want and I go about procuring it. No, I don’t give money to charity or join clean-up crews or do other things that people write on their resumes as “volunteer”. Instead I take my passions and gifts and time and conscientious thought and give these to those around me, even if it is something as silly as buying three types of ice cream so that my vegan, gluten-intolerant, lactose-intolerant, and nut-allergic friends can all enjoy the same party.


One-Sentence Reviews:

1. John Lithgow’s Autobiography: Drama: An Actor’s Education

Intelligently humorous, how a wonderful entanglement of talent, pride, and a Shakespeare-obsessed father [both as good and as bad as it sounds] doomed Lithgow to being an actor. 4.7 stars out of 5.

2. New Year’s Eve

If only the team who cut the trailer had written, directed, and edited the entire film then perhaps this might not have been the worst two hours of my life last week, they at least had comedic timing and the sense to cut out half of the celebrities and storylines.1 star out of 5.

3. Pretty Young Things by Anna Godberson

Terrible; filled to the brim with weak, selfish, and quite annoying heroines, and not even fun-bad to listen to on tape as its predecessor, the Luxe series, was. 1 star out of 5.

4. World of Warcraft

After properly adjusting the camera settings so the sight lines don’t change every time you touch a button, I now understand why so many hundreds of thousands of perfectly normal looking people play regularly despite the cultural judgment: a world where six hours feels like twenty minutes, you can fight, change into a cat, cast spells, gather herbs, run around as a ghost fifteen times because you’re just learning, fly on gryphons, and still do such mundane things as sleep, dance, fish, and check your mail is worth the social stigma and tri-monthly subscription price. 4 stars out of 5.

5. Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer [original]

Magic. 5 stars out of 5.

6. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Priming Potion

Never before have I had such vibrant, long-lasting, non-creasing eye shadow, literally holds color on from dawn past dusk. 5 stars out of 5.


You all ought to know by now that while I hold very strong opinions, once my ideas are shown to be inaccurate I can change to holding the opposite opinion just as swiftly and fiercely. This has happened countless times just over the past few years while I’ve been updating this blog: divacup, exercise, weight training, running, and jazzercise specifically, vegetables, mixing neutrals (and that was a BIG one), comfort v. style, baby doll tops, generic v. starbucks reusable cold cup, the truck, some country music, ereaders, alcohol, etc. The list goes on and on and on and on.

The latest 180° has been one of the most dramatic: expensive v. drugstore makeup. For many, many years I vehemently defended the position that you could find quality makeup at a drugstore and do not need to shell out $200 a year for expensive makeup. Years, we are talking. With loud, judgy pronouncements about how little I spend on beauty products.  Oh, ho, ho, ho how wrong I was.

You see, my entire college experience (and high school, let’s be honest) I have been trying to find a foundation to match my skin tone. I have very pale skin, which most drugstore makeup companies (and some expensive brands as well) seem to think that this means I have either yellow or beige or pink undertones. This results in either garishly yellow or orange or tan or olive skin, when I really have neutral white skin. About a year ago Covergirl redid their formulas, and finally had a white that was truly white. Too bad none of their foundations had the long-lasting formula or feel I needed.

Finally one day I broke down and decided “screw it, I’m going to Sephora’s”. I shortly thereafter was the completely, one hundred percent strangely-smugly satisfied owner of NARS sheer matte foundation in Siberia (yeah, I seriously am that white), L’ancome Hypnose Doll lashes mascara, NARS blush in Orgasm (may as well start with the classic).

It all started with a deal on hautelook.com, Urban Decay eyeshadow primer on sale. I had been hearing about these “primer” things, but hadn’t quite bought into it. So I took the opportunity to get the sale, and was so amazed by the results that I had a moral and monetary breakdown. Then came the Sephora’s trip, and when the primer came there was a coupon for the UD Book of Shadows IV, then there were two lovely other UD palettes on sale…and now I’ve enough makeup for the whole year.

I’ve never looked better. My makeup literally lasts from 6am ’till 11pm, and a lot of people have commented on it.

So my new life philosophy is no longer “thrift thrift thrift above all”, but is now the old adage, “quality over quantity”. Yes, I will still be an amazing bargain shopper, but of better products.

Well I’ve rambled enough for the moment.

Happy December the 11th, and I hope you are all EXCITEDLY AWAITING CHRISTMAS as I am.




2 thoughts on “Old Goals, New Things, Money Changing Hands

  1. I was wondering when your next update would be! I loved reading about your goals, especially the missionary one. I cringe when I think back to freshman year of high school and I wanted to be a missionary. It may sound bad, but global evangelisation does not hold the same appeal or sense of urgency it used to for me. This is more of a phone conversation.

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